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  • Edition 3, Inspector Clueless with a Map

    Posted by Nikki Tilley January 16, 2014 - 1,445 views - 0 comments - 0 likes - #It's all Rock and Croc! 

    Edition 3.  January 2014

     Inspector Clueless WITH a Map - by Tilley the AccidentalTourist.

    And it’s music to my ears

     

    It’s all Rock and Croc!

     Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. –Mark Twain


    So lifting off from our Mission, we ended up at the famed Rock Bottom – the local pub with awesome sea views in Umzumbe, the little paradise tucked away south of Hibberdene, KZN’s South Coast. With awesome people. And awesome history.

     Did they build this watering station out of rock or was it established for the shipwrecked heroes found on the rocks? Or because I like my whiskey on the rocks?  Turns out that the Rock was the original old post office which gave everyone a reason to gather in this quiet little paradise. This place required walking to the top of a seemingly long staircase, especially on a hot balmy day, a trek...So I guess as time moves on, so do the inhabitants of buildings. Clever thinking batman. A long trek makes one thirsty – so why not make it a pub with a rocking vibe? Which is exactly what they did. So now it’s a staircase to heaven. Fortunately I dressed casual just wearing sea sand stuck to my toes as shoes as this is one place you want to chill to some very groovy vibes and a place where people are so chilled they are leaning backwards – or is it just the bar propping them up  the wrong way?  

     And the live tunes begin. Wow. Seems this little adventure is going to see me meeting quite a few interesting creatures. We have a celebrity on the shores. Local (internationally acclaimed) David Marx of 3rd Ear Music and of 5 (or was it 4?) Jacks and a Jill fame, is singing his worldwide, record breaker, top of the charts, number one song (note to readers – at this point I really don’t mind you guessing my age) live to the audience. For FREE! What? No club type arm stamp? No glow in the dark, get in with your jail card, I mean credit card? Wow did he rock, excuse the pun. And by the way, following David’s act, the Hinds Brothers of Watershed fame performed. And this happens most Sundays. Ha ha to all you heavy city stadium music freaks spending hundreds of rands not to see first-hand the artists except of course on a big screen whilst tripping over under 21 year olds who have snuck in illicit cooldrinks. You just can’t beat this.

     And muso’s like this can’t let a good thing go. Paradise comes in many forms and art is sure one of them. Oh the magic and music of these places. There are plans underway for a first in South Africa, tourist attraction - music archive, a place to find a piece of your soul where sounds of the past have been digitised and kept on record for your ears only, indigenous music, and with more culture and vibe as Jack aka David has a lot more up his sleeve. A collaboration of like minded people celebrating life where sumptuous coffees are served with a view of paradise calling appreciative souls together to connect through their collective love of the arts.. Art in every form. This is sure to be a tourist trap. They will never leave. Never.

     Too much of good - as the locals say.

     But oh after wearing my sexy sand shoes at the Rock Bottom, I realised I had to back track to find my real shoes. I need them, am going into the cave soon. The hinterland. Why do they call it that? Why not just the Gorgeous Gorge? Or the Oresome Oribi?  (yes you can paddle the rivers and yes I can spell).

     So off to scary land it was. Big teeth city. Crocodilliaduck. Yes, they have lots of birds, aimlessly staring down at millennia year old toothy creatures who unfortunately end up as handbags in other places.  Not here, these crinkly skin predators are well looked after. Crocworld Conservation Centre in Scottburgh. And here I had a first time interview with Henry.

     Ok so maybe not a face to face interview (his teeth are bigger than mine and a better face for radio, well that too is open to negotiation) so I decided to write Henry a letter. After reading his history and attempting to take a close up picture of him. So here we go… 

     Dear Henry,

    I trust you are well. Born in 1903, how is your arthritis? It's been a long time since we connected. In fact, you know my predecessors well. I heard from your orthodontist that your pegs are still in good shape. Thanks for moving when my flash went off, you nearly sent me flying into your cousin's spot (without invitation) and requiring near death post traumatic syndrome whilst meeting your other 400 children in the playground next door. On another note Henry, I could call you a polygamist - but Henry, I salute you. However I will not have you speak to me like that again. No teeth please. You opened my heart and knocked my socks off. But this dear Henry, is not a tribute to our relationship. It is merely a question. Why was I not invited to your 100th birthday bash? I would have brought you some lovely treats. I heard you like lentils. What dish I can cook for you?

     And with that, hunger strikes. Off to find another nosh. Bunny chow. No, not bunny’s but a good mutton curry in a half loaf of bread. KZN style.

     That’ll do. Just fine thanks. See you next week with my boots on.

     Signing out Tilley the Accidental Tourist – Inspector Clueless with a map. 

    So what’s your story about these gems?  Get your people to call my people. 0800 FINDME. Erratum: [email protected] 

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